Pappa wants mamma naked
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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