I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
