i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
