did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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