Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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