Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The uberlube is also flammable
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
