Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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