I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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