Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
