How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my shit smells like andre
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
