meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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