Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
