grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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