Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
