genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
