No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
