I skipped work to stalk him.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
