She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
