Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
