so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
