I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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