Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So much Jack, so little girl.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
