Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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