Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
