Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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