You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
