I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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