Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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