roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
