so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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