omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
be right there i have to get my cape
My ass is underappreciated
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
FUCK WHALES
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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