3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
