(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...