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• (586): View more from Michigan

  When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!

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• (562): View more from California

  How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (510): View more from California

  She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"

  (917): View more from New York City

  Rigtt?!

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• (707): View more from California

  You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?

  (845): View more from New York

  Hahah good point

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.

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