When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.