Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you (1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/5nrz
  Replies (5) Good night (1858) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue. http://tfl.nu/xccr
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (3229)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie http://tfl.nu/8h9i
  Replies (74) Good night (828) Bad night (7135)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD. http://tfl.nu/8lo9
  Replies (28) Good night (636) Bad night (5422)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included. http://tfl.nu/hd7g
  Replies (32) Good night (6524) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis. http://tfl.nu/ymag
  Replies (16) Good night (5021) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night. http://tfl.nu/vbgm
  Replies (10) Good night (4804) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/6oxt
  Replies (17) Good night (4314) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh
  Replies (7) Good night (2650) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp. http://tfl.nu/629f
  Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (2049)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall http://tfl.nu/47u9
  Replies (2) Good night (1055) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword. http://tfl.nu/ec7y
  Replies (1) Good night (957) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out http://tfl.nu/fusv
  Replies (13) Good night (975) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse.... http://tfl.nu/k31y
  Replies (6) Good night (751) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail http://tfl.nu/zj29
  Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (209)

Randomize