Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

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  (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a
  Replies (205) Good night (40972) Bad night (3667)
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  (845): View more from New York

  its like an ocean threw up right in your lap

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  (845): its like an ocean threw up right in your lap http://tfl.nu/b2xa
  Replies (6) Good night (656) Bad night (2673)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?

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  (405): why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after? http://tfl.nu/ai6n
  Replies (45) Good night (1262) Bad night (5420)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.

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  (303): Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break. http://tfl.nu/0dv9
  Replies (17) Good night (5189) Bad night (887)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him

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  (401): and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him http://tfl.nu/atvr
  Replies (7) Good night (3198) Bad night (1028)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.

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  (314): For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos. http://tfl.nu/t7k7
  Replies (11) Good night (4692) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.

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  (248): No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut. http://tfl.nu/0bwj
  Replies (26) Good night (3789) Bad night (756)
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  (914): View more from New York

  at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.

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  (914): at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock. http://tfl.nu/0hid
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (712)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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  (314): It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke http://tfl.nu/h2tw
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head

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  (815): I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head http://tfl.nu/qmtv
  Replies (18) Good night (1460) Bad night (1962)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  What's the place called?

  (916): View more from California

  I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results

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  (916): What's the place called? (916): I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results http://tfl.nu/7h1g
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!

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  (513): You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up! http://tfl.nu/45jw
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.

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  (832): I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014. http://tfl.nu/x4gw
  Replies (2) Good night (344) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?

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  (626): i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning? http://tfl.nu/2863
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.

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  (250): I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pg6b
  Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (564)

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