i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
