Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
