East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.