tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
