it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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