Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
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Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
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The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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