god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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