the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
