he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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