Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
