shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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