This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
