ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
