Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
