I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
