I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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