I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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