I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
