Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
