I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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