Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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