i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
