Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
