one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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