we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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