There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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