There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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