Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
